teethofneedles | [thirty-fourth quest | elegante (take two)

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karis needleteeth

[thirty-fourth quest | elegante (take two) | action/audio]

_{[Karis has gone exploring again, for lack of anything better to do. She's getting tired of simply boozing herself up everyday, believe it or not. She sulkily kicks her way through the field of flowers, making sure that she's leaving a nice trail of torn up plants and dirt. She comes to a quick stop with a start as she finds herself facing an open grave. There's also a headstone with her name on it. She stares for a moment and then rubs her chin with her bony fingers.

She looks left. She looks right. No one is around. Good. She peers into the grave and then slides herself in. Just to take a look. She settles back against one of the walls and draws her knees up against her chest as she stares up at the rectangle of light above her. It's not all that bad down here, actually. She pulls out her communicator and clicks it on.]}

S'not that bad down here, really.

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Not that bad where?

In this grave.

_[Snerk.]

Never thought I'd say that...

Th'heck're you doin' in the graves?

Sitting. Thinking.

Y'know the people who sit around in th'graves kinda get stuck in them, right?

Doesn't sound bad.

Maybe not now.

What makes you say that?

Apparently, y'never wanna leave. Which prolly can't be a good thing.

Who cares?

I cares. Don't want you sittin' at the bottom of some hole with your name on it th'rest of the trip.

[Or at least until she starves to death. If zombies can starve to death]

Pffft. It's nice down here.

That's what it wants ya t'think. S'a conspiracy, Karis. Evil ditches.

Meh. Evil schmivil.

I'm gonna give you twenty-four hours, and if you're still stuck in that hole, I'm comin' ta get ya, got it?

Whatever you say.

[Well isn't that the most specific message Zoey's ever heard. Still, she's curious.]

Uhh... What are you talking about?

This grave. It's not as... stiflin'... as I thought it would be.

[There's a startled pause]

Why the heck are you in a grave for?

I was curious.

As someone who's had one foot in the grave more than a few times, I've gotta tell you, it's nothing special.

[Jokes aside, this conversation just got a little creepy]

Didn't anyone ever tell you? Graves are for the dead.

I've been dead for seven years. Well... undead, technically.

[There's a very long, awkward silence.]

That's... not a metaphor for anything, is it?

Nope. Died, brought back from the dead. Zombie now.

_[Beat.]

...you're not one of them vitalists are you?

It depends on your definition of vitalists.

If you mean I like being alive, and don't want that to change any time soon, then yes. If not then... I don't know what you're talking about.

[At this point, Zoey's still a little disbelieving. This must be the person everyone's talking about. The zombie that she 'doesn't have to worry about.' She still expects the voice on the line to start snarling any second now.]

I mean bigoted 'gainst zombies. Duh.

Tchyeah. Could say that.

You guys don't exactly have a good track record. I mean, hey. I'm all for Zombie Civil rights. Too bad most of the ones who'd rally for that where I came from are .. oh yeah. Busy eating people.

Hey, we get hungry,

Well, word on the boat is you don't.

Not in general, no.

[Well that's not reassuring at ALL. Well... it's better than her outright saying 'yes' at least. She's rubbing her face, talking mostly to herself.]

This is so ridiculous, I can't believe I'm talking to one.

Ohhh, so I guess I don't count as a person just 'cause I'm clinically dead.

As a general rule, no. Zombies don't count. In fact, anything with teeth they're trying to sink into any part of me does not count as a person.

[But she pauses. A little uncertain.]

You guys've... just never talked before.

I see how it is. You just hate us irrationally.

Irrationally? Irrationally? Oh go to hell. I liked you guys just fine before your buddies went and brought the apocalypse down on my ass!

Maybe you shoulda thought that 'fore you meddled with whatever it is you meddled with.

What are you talking about, I didn't meddle with anything! It was a freaking disease!

Oh yeah, I hear that all the time. "It was the Plague! Waah! Wahh!"

Wasn't like our Prince decided to release it on us or anything.

Prince? Wait wait... what? Prince- you guys have a prince? How is that possible. All your buddies do is lay around all day and wait for morons to set off car alarms so you can come running for a meal.

You really expect me to believe you're coordinated enough to have kings or queens and all that crap?

Prince Arthas of Lordaeron. Used to be human. Now he's the Lich King and he dragged his whole damn country down with him. We're all undead, dead or refugees now. And some of us are free of his control.

And we have a queen now. The Dark Lady, Sylvanas.

[There's another silence. And Zoey... starts to think things are not quite right. She places a hand over her forehead, like she's got a headache. It shows in her voice.]

Wait... Hold on a second. Just... hang on.

I just feel like we're on different pages, here. I've never heard of this dark prince guy, Lodaeron, or dark ladies and don't you even ASK me what being a Lich king is supposed to mean.

The Zombies I know are basically brain-dead monsters who swarm and eat everything alive they can get their grubby hands on.

Well, that does describe summa the Scourge...

[She sighs. Nothings any clearer than when they started.]

This isn't getting anywhere.

Just... just tell me whether or not everyone's right about you.

Don't piss me off and we'll get along fine.

Maybe we should have drinks sometime...

[She's quiet a moment.]

... I'm not having a drink with you... if I have to sit in a grave.

[It it's necessarily a no. A part of her wants to outright say no, but... it's hard when the zombie in question that she really wants to hate isn't being a dick.]

Maybe later then. You sound alright.

Yeah well... you don't sound too bad either. For a zombie.

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[thirty-fourth quest | elegante (take two) | action/audio]

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